RELATIONSHIP GOALS : UNDERSTANDING EACH ONE'S ATTACHMENT STYLE

Psychology once thought me that there are different kinds of attachment. And there are a lot of attachment theories that you can search on the internet nowadays. Most of the articles I’ve read from psychologist suggests that . Our attachment style affects everything from our partner selection to how well our relationships progress and to, sadly, how they end. 

DISCLAIMER : This is going to be a long article, so if a lot of you will request by sending me a comment on the chatbox in this blog. I probably make another article on this topic.

Let us first understand “What is attachment and why is it important?”

Attachment refers the particular way in which you relate to other people. Your style of attachment was formed at the very beginning of your life, during your first two years.  Once established, it is a style that stays with you and plays out today in how you relate in intimate relationships and in how you parent your children. 

Now, let’s dig deeper and see what are the TYPES OF ATTACHMENT.

Secure Attachment:

Ideally, from the time infants are six months to two years of age, they form an emotional attachment to an adult who is attuned to them, that is, who is sensitive and responsive in their interactions with them. It is vital that this attachment figure remain a consistent caregiver throughout this period in a child’s life. During the second year, children begin to use the adult as a secure base from which to explore the world and become more independent. A child in this type of relationship is securely attached. 

Avoidant Attachment:

There are adults who are emotionally unavailable and, as a result, they are insensitive to and unaware of the needs of their children. They have little or no response when a child is hurting or distressed. These parents discourage crying and encourage independence. Often their children quickly develop into “little adults” who take care of themselves. 

Ambivalent/Anxious Attachment:

Some adults are inconsistently attuned to their children. At times their responses are appropriate and nurturing but at other times they are intrusive and insensitive. Children with this kind of parenting are confused and insecure, not knowing what type of treatment to expect. 

Disorganized Attachment:

When a parent or caregiver is abusive to a child, the child experiences the physical and emotional cruelty and frightening behavior as being life-threatening. This child is caught in a terrible dilemma: her survival instincts are telling her to flee to safety but safety is the very person who is terrifying her.  

_________________________________________________________________________________

Now that you have been introduced to the different types of attachment , probably it is time to assess yourself and find out how your style of attachment impacts of current relationship.

I might be posting an article soon on a quick assessment guide on your attachment style. Let me know if this will be relevant for you. Just send me a comment.

According to an article on pyschalive.org. attachment research demonstrates that “the best predictor of a child’s security of attachment is not what happened to his parents as children, but rather how his parents made sense of those childhood experiences.” The key to “making sense” of your life experiences is to write a coherent narrative, which helps you understand how your childhood experiences are still affecting you in your life today.

KIM KARDASHIAN BACK ON TRACK ?

Kim Kardashian’s back on Twitter, but it's not what you think. 

The E! reality star, whose personal life took a sudden turn following her involvement in a Parisian robbery two weeks ago, recently made an unconventionally quiet return to the same platform that many believe threatened her privacy. 

Fans were quick to notice Kardashian downsized her social media ratio, unfollowing 14 people. It's unclear which of Kim's 121 followed accounts were ultimately given the axe, though she still follows every immediate member of her famous family. Kim's latest online activity is especially notable given that it's the first since the life-threatening incident. 

***More on Enews.com

DRESS TO IMPRESS with "The Filo Dapper"

Yuppies or young men are starting their professional lives without a clue as to how to dress.

Young men are the future leaders of society, and dressing sharp is the first step towards becoming a professional.

Let me be clear. Clothing does not make the man……It does not define who he is , but I know a lot of people will agree to me that "the way you dress shows what manner you have".

The right clothing can give a young man precious seconds to make his case and influence others. A young lawyer, consultant, medical professional, or salesman needs to understand this. That being said – it’s important to note that it is worth paying attention to your clothing as a young man even if you’re working in a field without strict dress codes.

Tradesmen, welders, carpenters, and construction workers must know that our clothing still matters as it introduces us and tells our story before we open our mouth. Crisp, clean, and well fitted clothing – wherever you are at in the world – encourages others to take you more seriously.

We are so lucky that we have The Filo Dapper to guide us in choosing the right clothes to wear and how to mix and match with out compromising being stylish and to look sharp.

www.filodapper.com

The Filo Dapper is AJ Dee's fashion blog  according to him the idea of creating a fashion blog came to me during my travels. I like to tell a story through my style.  On his blog you will be able to see that he has an exceptional fashion sense. Not only that he also have a heart for people that is in battle with cancer. The Filo Dapper helps  National Children’s Hospital, aiming to support the needs of the children such as their treatments and medications. He calls it "Fashion with Compassion". 

You have to check out his blog as well as follow him in Instagram you will be inspired to dress up. Many men nowadays are getting smart in choosing the right clothes I know that Filo Dapper will be able to guide you more in dressing up smart.

Instagram post of The Filo Dapper

The Filo Dapper is also a YouTube content creator on his channel you'll see how he creates story while he showcase his fashion ideas. Here's a video where he shows his fall essentials.

Main-stream fashion trends change too fast to make useful wardrobe staples. Most young men don’t have the budget to buy new pants every month or two — so stay away from pants that are only presentable during an “in” season.

Distressed or bleached jeans are a great example; several different designer labels briefly managed to sell the image on the public, and then the fad changed and left a lot of people with very expensive jeans too beat-up to wear in public.

Stick to classic clothing staples for the core of your wardobe and avoid anything that’s too far out on the cutting edge — even if you see something that makes it look good.

I was so lucky that I had the chance to ask Mr. AJ Dee a.k.a The Filo Dapper on what should young men wear in an upscale club like Valkyrie.

He replied : " Well, I would suggest something dressy. Sharp but still comfortable. A button down shirt matched with a trouser and a loafer, or a pullover and a dark denim with a white luxe sneakers for a more casual yet dapper look".

I am not an expert when it comes to fashion but here's my take on dressing to impress:

TIP #1 - If you’ve never owned really good shoes before, brace yourself and get ready to pay a significant amount of money for well-made, classic footwear.

TIP # 2 - Well cut and classically styled trousers will make you look a little sharper at social occasions than jeans.They’re less common in a young crowd, so you’ll already be standing out, and a good pair of slacks has a drape and crease that looks much crisper than denim.

TIP # 3 - Wearing T-shirts to social events or to work is a no-no.

Thank you Mr. AJ Dee for allowing me to feature you on my simple blog. I know that my fellow finest clubbers learned a lot from your social media accounts. More power to The Filo Dapper.

You may find The Filo Dapper on the following social media platform :

LOOKBOOK : www.lookbook.nu/thefilodapper

IG: www.instagram.com/thefilodapper

BLOG: www.thefilodapper.com